- Radon detector: Radon is said to be a noble gas, but it's actually a creepy silent-invisible-odorless-type villain that causes more deaths per year than swimming and pie-eating combined, so get yourself a detector. This notable model is $130, but gives you a reading after only two days, which means you can return it well within Amazon's 30-day refund window.
- Animal-shaped humidifier: You won't need one of these in the summer when you're living east of East St. Louis in a modern sealed-up-type basement, but they're adorable! I bet you get one or two anyway. Essential winter gadget if you're using a space heater in a drafty older place and need to preserve your singing voice for busking. Humidity extremes can cause nosebleeds and death from black mold, so for real-time continuous humidity updates, befriend an older old person with bad joints, or get a hygrometer as well.
- Dimmer switches: Nothing surprises like the unexpected, and most of the cringes associated with basement living are due to garish overhead lighting. The New York critics and the minivan moms will never expect you to be wielding dimmer switches, and therefore they are essential.
- Crock pot: When all you have is one outlet and one bowl, a crock pot is all you need. And a hug. Go ahead, refer to it as your Batcrockpot.
- Grappling hook: Even if you grapple only rarely, this $20 marvel, hung casually on the back of your closet door, will enstrengthen your boldness and embolden your strengthfulness whenever you're looking for your belt during the winter months when your basement feels less like a state-of-the-art Batcave and more like a down-and-out mole's second choice. It says, "Tighten your belt and go fight some crime, you lazy sad-sack billionaire!" Get yours today. Righteous awesomeness waits for nobody.
Wait...what about living with your significant Bat-other?