Underground dating

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.  ~ Oprah Winfrey

Surprisingly, people of all classes will descend your crooked stairs and good-naturally keep their coats on in your chilly domicile if you are a gracious host. Due to the fuss created by recent articles in Vanity Fair and on WebMD, all stripes of the curious public will find you curious, and perhaps downright interesting, simply because you live in a basement, so make sure to keep extra slippers around.

Most basements lend themselves very unselfconsciously to low, moody lighting. Why not make the most of it on date night by dining completely in the dark? Without the decor to distract her, and with plenty of incense and perhaps a pair of mittens, your guest will be able to focus completely on the flavors in the meal you've prepared. 

This is what I think Oprah means about "getting it right" in the new year - it's about learning from the past and building a better future by truly owning our whole selves, basements and all. Of course, if you're actually dating Oprah, don't bother with owning anything - just hang out at her place.